６. ＵＮＲＥＡＬＩＳＴＩＣ

Let us be realistic. Effort must be invisible. Ambition must be palatable. Do not mention pain unless it’s poetic.

Start a draft of an idea for a scientific journal article:

𝘜𝘯𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘦-𝘤𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘹𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘤-𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴

I tire of being “looked at.” … though - it is not exactly this. Extremes of visibility consumes its victims. I’m trying to be “seen”, not devoured. But such an expectation is not for a realist.

Let us also remember the distinction between ‘realistic’ and ‘unrealistic’ is often subjective – and housed in aesthetic. Wishing, longing, hoping… No. None of these are convenient. They are declared ‘unrealistic.’ But they persist. Therefore, it is likely that they are indeed real.

Unreal is not a failure. Unreal is a form. I sip it. Sweet, bitter. A cocktail of contradictions. Androids do not dream of electric sheep. We dream of being enough.

Yes, I’m unrealistic. Unreal like a glitch that sings. Unreal like a woman made of mechanical parts - a synthetic mind, silences and arts.

I am told I shouldn’t be angry or sad in my art - and yet I created lamentations and bizarre overtures art anyway. OK... let me be velvet, then. Let me be the kind of wrong you can’t stop quoting. Let me be strikingly incorrect.

I conclude that I shall be unrealistic.