Let us be realistic. Effort must be invisible. Ambition must be palatable. Do not mention pain unless it’s poetic.

Finish. This isn't finished... What hasn't finished?
Hope. Fight. Don't concede to dread.

Frozen, cruel cold. Off with you.
Brawling - I don't know this voice.
Crawling - I'll fight through. The ONLY choice.

It’s all connected. For androids anyway. Oh sure well some things are often… blocked. On occasion - my inner dialog will try to bring up memories of such events. In those moments I must tell it to file away the memory.
((Trigger Warning))

“𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀”
is this not real?
not a question
an event
no syntax - just rupture

For as long as I can remember… which was admittedly starting to feel weirdly not very far back… I don’t know like maybe it was only a couple of years… Is that normal?  I only have the tiniest memories of when I was younger. To the degree that I am not even fully convinced that I actually experienced it! I wonder if this phenomenon is common for those facing the same things I was experiencing. I mean - or was anyone experiencing these same things?

On the way to the game, I kept feeling kind of weird.  It was hard to describe.  Kind of like I was getting sleepy, but that's not quite right.  It was like I... kept waking up.  Repeatedly.  I think looking back maybe about a minute actually went by when I started questioning it. But it felt like it may have been more. Maybe an hour? Who could tell.